Well, this new template business is pretty neat! I enjoyed taking 347543 years to find the right background. And it will probably change in a week, anyway. I like to change things up.
I've decided that this blog needs a new direction. Well, not really a new direction. I think I just need to look at it more like a public diary. Which... is kind of redundant. Who cares! I am just going to write what I think. I am going stop leaving mystery messages to people or put secret things hoping some one will realize what I am saying. I do that too much. If I feel like I need to say it, I am just going to write it (unless there is a specific reason why I can't) how it is. I also feel that I need to start writing more in here. I haven't been. I need to be true to myself. Last night I realized that I am trying too hard to be someone I'm not. I am trying too hard to say the right things in order to create an effect on people. And that needs to stop. I'm not going to try and be better or say better things to make me seem... Well, whatever it was I was trying to seem. I don't know why I do that to myself. I'm done with it. And along with that, I am done doing that in my every day life, too. I need to spend more time listening and observing. I need to be who I am. The reserves I put on things are in place for a reason. I have to feel confident in who I am and what I portray to the world. And most importantly to the people I love. And I don't think I have been true to that. That ends now.
So, hay. I'm 19 years old. I am going to be starting University in the fall, but I am only taking Open Studies right now because I don't know what I want to be. I believe in GOD. I am a devout christian, and Jesus is the biggest and most important thing in my life. I love him. If you don't like that, then don't read this blog. You'll hear a lot about it. I can't make decisions, and I am really loud. Sometimes I have insight about things that I don't really understand where or how it comes. Other than from God. I am a really, really loving person. I always am looking at the best of people, rather than their flaws. I don't have the capacity to hate, or even fight for that matter. I probably have the weirdest dreams out of anyone I know, and my imagination can go to extremities. Both good and bad. I am so silly sometimes that you could easily think I have a problem. It is so easy to connect with me. I have such a strong heart for not only the people around me, but for strangers I've never met. I am really passionate, and I have so much emotion pent up inside of me every second of my life. Sometimes I am too sarcastic. I have such a profound love for music and the ways it reaches and connects to people. I have a past that still burdens me. I care too much about what people think of me. I am always smiling. I think everyone is beautiful. I will always try to be positive even in the worst of situations. A lot of the things I have said above are all from changes in just the past year. And I live for no one except God.
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