What Does This Mean?

It's time for me to just write. I feel overwhelmed. But at the same time, I don't feel a sense of total unhappiness. I am not unhappy. I just feel overwhelmed by my life. Since I could walk and talk, I have been the girl that wants to please everyone. I physically cringe at a sad face, or a tear. Especially if it is my fault that I caused it when a person was undeserving of it. I have spent my entire life trying to be the person that everyone loved. And usually, that's how it was. My personality was what came through when everyone saw me. I was that big loveable teddy bear that people could come to for their problems, or for a good laugh. But lately, I don't feel like myself. I feel like part of me is acting. Because I have to. I don't know if its because I'm not sure if people, or more particularly the people I love, won't accept me, or if it's because I don't know who I am. I think it's partially a combination of both. But I honestly have never felt so confused about who I am as a person. I feel like I'm in effing junior high again. You know those awkward and uncomfortable years where you try to figure out what you are into, what you arent into, who you are, what you believe in? Apparently, I am having a repeat of that. I know that I'm a good person, a go- to person. I'm a listener, and I'll sit and listen to people's problems for as long as they want me to. But I can't seem to stop and listen to myself. I avoid the problems I feel, or think of. I avoid them, and pretend they arent there. Eventually I do that so much that I dont know which are problems, and which are realities. And then at that point, I've been doing that so often that I don't know how to fix them. Or change them.