Not tryin' to rewind

Well.

Yesterday was Stampede day. In the morning I went to the Stampede breakfast at Sunridge with some of my co workers, and it was actually a lot of fun. I love those people. And I went with a pretty random group of people to the actual Stampede. Me, Kj, Steph, Jordan, Nikkie, Chelsea, Breanna, Britney, and Lei. Wait, what? Rewind, freeze: Jordan and Nikkie? Yes. We hung out with them the whole time. It was weird. But, it was a weird good. I think that the ice has finally been broken completely. And for the first time in over two years, I felt comfortable around Jordan, and Nikkie for that matter. It was really, really neat. I was able to joke, and laugh and talk. It was actually really cool to see Jordan and Kj hanging out and Nikkie and I were able to just talk. That part aside, Stampede was a heck of a lot of fun. Went on some rides, ate too much, busted a tit a few times, shopped. What else is new. Except when one of the rides broke down and there were ambulances and cops. It was scary. I refused to go on any rides after that. But I am glad no one died.

I don't know. I feel like I am still proccessing yesterday. It was pretty monumental for me. It almost feels like relief. It's been one of those things in your life that you are always unsettled about because there was never closure. But now I feel like that I have that, so if it was that I never saw Jordan or Nikkie again,, or alteast not for a long time, I wouldn't feel that unsettling. I don't think that's going to happen though. I feel like there is more coming, and I hope it does. I know that I can handle it now. And thank you, God. For being with me. I love you more than anything. Help me be a light, always.


PS. I have a terrible feeling about something, and I can't find the words to tell anyone or explain it.