Kj and I have been through a lot.
Spending that 24 + hours with him was eye opening for me. What the magazines say about distance is good, about needing to be able to be independent; it's all true. We have something different. Part of that is because Kj isn't like a "normal" guy. For the most part, I can't even compare him to any guy. I think that's why initially, I fell for him. We don't spend a huge amount time together, because both of us have lives, with things to do and people to see. But it makes the moments we do share all that more special. It's always those, "wow" moments. We are probably the weirdest couple in some people's eyes. But it's always been that way for us. We either look like we shouldnt be together, or we look like we've been together for years. Some people don't seem to realize that just because we aren't always touching or in physical contact doesn't mean our feelings aren't strong. On the contrary, we both know that when it comes down to it, it's him and me. And that's it. On the other hand, some people see us, and they wonder how a couple who have only been together officially for just over five months can have such a strong understanding and connection. If you asked me, I wouldn't be able to tell you. I could tell you that we've been through a lot, and then try to start from the beginning. But that would be pointless, because there is just so much.
For those of you who read my blog and don't know, Kj is going on a mission trip to Malta and North Africa in January of 2010. It's something he has wanted to do from the second he heard about it. And really... No one, or thing will stop him from going. He will make it happen, because that's the kind of person he is. I have always been a supporter of him going to Africa. Right from the get go, even when he worried about me and how I would adapt. And to let you in on a little secret, when I first found out, my heart dropped probably about as far as it is possible for a heart to drop. But you know... I'm not scared of what's going to happen when he gets home anymore. Because I will still be me, and he will still be him. Undoubtly, this trip will change him. And Kj will be modified, in a way. And both of us will have to adapt. We have watched each other go through entirely life changing situations, that were difficult to say in the very least, and because of this, we have learned about each other inside out. But just like I have the utmost faith in his ability and incredible drive to do good all the way in Africa, I have just as much faith back home for me, and what happens afterwards. I didn't have that before. For months, I worried about loosing him. And then all of a sudden I realized that he is always going to be in my life in some way, whether that be in a relationship or friendship form. Having him in my life at all is more than important to me; it's everything. You wouldn't be able to understand unless you knew him personally. It's still four months away, but those four months will go fast, and I think we both know it. Deep down, I know that how we feel about each other is enough to get us through it all. It hasn't failed thus far.
He's always t w o s t e p s a h e a d of me in the thinking process when it comes to stuff like this. But knowing that, now, it is a matter of making the right decisions and choices, of being who we are and being able to accept each other exactly for who we are. It's a matter of understanding even if it's hard, and of learning to just take it day by day. It's a matter of fighting for what we need, and what we want.
And more than anything, I think it's a matter of remembering where we are coming from, and where we have the potential to go.
Spending that 24 + hours with him was eye opening for me. What the magazines say about distance is good, about needing to be able to be independent; it's all true. We have something different. Part of that is because Kj isn't like a "normal" guy. For the most part, I can't even compare him to any guy. I think that's why initially, I fell for him. We don't spend a huge amount time together, because both of us have lives, with things to do and people to see. But it makes the moments we do share all that more special. It's always those, "wow" moments. We are probably the weirdest couple in some people's eyes. But it's always been that way for us. We either look like we shouldnt be together, or we look like we've been together for years. Some people don't seem to realize that just because we aren't always touching or in physical contact doesn't mean our feelings aren't strong. On the contrary, we both know that when it comes down to it, it's him and me. And that's it. On the other hand, some people see us, and they wonder how a couple who have only been together officially for just over five months can have such a strong understanding and connection. If you asked me, I wouldn't be able to tell you. I could tell you that we've been through a lot, and then try to start from the beginning. But that would be pointless, because there is just so much.
For those of you who read my blog and don't know, Kj is going on a mission trip to Malta and North Africa in January of 2010. It's something he has wanted to do from the second he heard about it. And really... No one, or thing will stop him from going. He will make it happen, because that's the kind of person he is. I have always been a supporter of him going to Africa. Right from the get go, even when he worried about me and how I would adapt. And to let you in on a little secret, when I first found out, my heart dropped probably about as far as it is possible for a heart to drop. But you know... I'm not scared of what's going to happen when he gets home anymore. Because I will still be me, and he will still be him. Undoubtly, this trip will change him. And Kj will be modified, in a way. And both of us will have to adapt. We have watched each other go through entirely life changing situations, that were difficult to say in the very least, and because of this, we have learned about each other inside out. But just like I have the utmost faith in his ability and incredible drive to do good all the way in Africa, I have just as much faith back home for me, and what happens afterwards. I didn't have that before. For months, I worried about loosing him. And then all of a sudden I realized that he is always going to be in my life in some way, whether that be in a relationship or friendship form. Having him in my life at all is more than important to me; it's everything. You wouldn't be able to understand unless you knew him personally. It's still four months away, but those four months will go fast, and I think we both know it. Deep down, I know that how we feel about each other is enough to get us through it all. It hasn't failed thus far.
He's always t w o s t e p s a h e a d of me in the thinking process when it comes to stuff like this. But knowing that, now, it is a matter of making the right decisions and choices, of being who we are and being able to accept each other exactly for who we are. It's a matter of understanding even if it's hard, and of learning to just take it day by day. It's a matter of fighting for what we need, and what we want.
And more than anything, I think it's a matter of remembering where we are coming from, and where we have the potential to go.
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